My Mind Is Racing

My mind is racing
What do I do?
Do I believe you or the black in white?
I love you
But are you truthful
You’re past points to NO
You said you have changed I want to believe you but do I
I am nauseous
I can’t eat
I want to cry
I love you damn it
What do I believe?
I want to believe you
Oh do I want to believe you
I love you damn it
I was afraid of this I was afraid that you were going to hurt me
Did you play me like the past?
Or is it really not like that
What to do?
I sit in the dark and think
I love this man
Once again I get fucked
I should have known you were to “good” to be true
You say it is bullshit
But is it
I love you damn it but now you have to prove it

Explanation:
This one like much of my recent stuff comes from another time in my relationship with this great guy when he wants to be makes me feel not good enough. I couldn't tell him what I was thinking because it was the middle of the day and we were both at work. So I expressed it in writing.